When Freedom of Choice Means Choosing Who Owns You
🍸 A plutocracy, an autocracy, and a democracy walk into a bar.
The plutocracy immediately buys the bar, doubles the price of drinks, and installs a VIP section for the “job creators.”
The autocracy declares itself the new owner, renames the bar after itself, and demands everyone praise its excellent taste in decor.
The democracy suggests taking a vote on what music to play, but spends the next hour arguing about the voting process.
The bartender, representing the average citizen, just sighs and wonders if there’s a “none of the above” option.
The plutocracy offers to buy everyone a round, but only if they sign over their homes as collateral.
The autocracy insists it’s everyone’s patriotic duty to drink whatever it’s drinking.
The democracy forms committees to study the most equitable way to distribute bar nuts.
As the night wears on, the plutocracy and autocracy start secretly colluding in the corner, while the democracy is still drafting its fifth resolution on proper barstool height regulations.
The other patrons, meanwhile, just want affordable drinks and a moment’s peace.
By closing time, the plutocracy owns the whole block, the autocracy has declared the bar an independent nation, and the democracy is proudly announcing it has achieved a bipartisan consensus to think about possibly considering potential drink specials someday.
The bartender, unsurprisingly, starts looking for a new job.
🃏🃏🃏
Autocracy: A system of government where one person holds absolute power.
Plutocracy: A government controlled by the wealthy.
Democracy: A system of government where power ultimately comes from the people, typically through elected representatives.
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